growing

It's been a while. Life is good, busy but good. I've still been working on my struggles with laziness and my self-image. I used to be a pretty regular journaler and since the births of my children my habit of journaling had fallen by the wayside. I recently picked up my journal- that Kyle bought me over 5 years ago and is not even halfway finished- and started writing again. It's been so awesome and therapeutic for me. However, since I've been doing so much of my thinking with actual pen and paper, the blog has fallen by the wayside. I do have several things bouncing around in my brain that I want to share here. And when I get those thoughts sorted out into less of a rambling mess I will post them here.

Right now though I want to talk about my kiddos. Lately I've been so struck by their growth, physical and otherwise. Darby and Sutton are the light of my life and I've just been feeling the need to soak them up and hold on to every tiny detail more than usual.

darby gail

Oh, this girl. Darby amazes Kyle and I every. single. day. She is becoming such a kid and that baby I gave birth to is getting harder and harder to see. Darby has gotten long and lanky and currently has 4 missing teeth (I really, really need to get a picture to show... it makes her look so old and so little all at once). She has beautiful, long, shiny brunette hair that we are probably about to cut for a second donation to Locks of Love. Her big eyes are so much like her daddy's in that they seem to change color depending on her clothing. However, they really are a pretty greyish blue, with a brown patch on her left eye. She has adorable freckles and makes the funniest faces.

Darby is doing so well in school and makes us so proud. She started reading last year in kindergarten but has blown us away this year. She reads EVERYTHING. Billboards. Magazines. My text messages over my shoulder- we had to have a talk about that one. :) Kyle and I can no longer spell things out in order to keep the kids in the dark- Darby can figure it out before we're even done spelling. She was accepted to the accelerated math program this year. It hasn't been as easy for her as she'd like but I'm glad for that because I want her to continue to feel challenged. She's made a lot of friends and loves her teacher. We're sad that our neighborhood has been rezoned to a different school for next year- we've loved her current school- but aren't worried a bit about Darby because she's extremely sociable, not at all shy and makes friends very easily.

Darby loves animals and nature and has translated that love into arts & crafts. She can make just about any animal or plant out of cardboard, paper and tape. We've had a hard time keeping paper and scotch tape in stock at our house. Darby will spend all day crafting, drawing and creating. I find this particularly amazing as I don't have one crafty/creative cell in my body. There isn't a room in our house that doesn't have one of Darby's creations hanging on the wall or door. My favorite is the large (and I mean LARGE) soldier she made for Sutton's room. It hangs by his bed and he loves it.

Darby is also quite the climber and is very athletic. She climbs everything. She shimmies up the door frames out of habit. Her current "hideout" is the shelf in the top of her closet. (She doesn't get on the shelf, just climbs the walls and hangs out up there with all her toys on the shelf.) She's spent a good portion of her spring break up in the crepe myrtle trees in our backyard. At the gym where she and Sutton are in gymnastics, Darby's the only one in her class that can climb the 20 ft. rock wall all the way to the top. She's finally mastered cartwheels and loves to jump on the trampolines. We're about to take the training wheels off her bike and I've no doubt that it will take less than a day for her to be zipping up and down the street like a pro.

Darby challenges me everyday. She's got a crazy memory, a sharp eye for detail and is a pretty stringent rule follower. This can make it hard for her to be flexible, go with the flow, let things go. And it can make her bossy. We've run into a bit of attitude lately- mostly directed at me- and this makes me terrified of her teenage years. :) She's also pretty emotional and very dramatic. She feels everything very strongly and reacts very quickly. We've been working a lot lately on controlling reactions. I'm trying to find a balance with her that allows her to feel her feelings and express her emotions in such a way that she feels heard and important without the huge meltdowns and uncontrollable tears. In just the past few days even, I've noticed her really making the effort not to lose control and to determine if something is a big enough deal to really throw a fit about. It makes me so proud of her. And again highlights how very grown up she is becoming.

We recently had an incident that so perfectly fit our sweet girl's disposition and highlighted the ways in which her personality can be so challenging and endearing at the same time. Darby and Sutton had created a road out of some of Kyle's weights. Sutton had placed 2 of his t-rexes next to the road that Darby's unicorn was "flying" up and down. I was working on some chores in the back of the house when I heard Darby crying and chastising her brother. I went out to the living room to find her a puddle of frustrated tears. She was mad that Sutton's dinosaurs were too close to the road and he wouldn't move them. I asked her why this was a problem.

"Mom, if Max and 3-Claws (the names of the dinos) are too close to the road, their drool may get on Unicella (the unicorn). And if their drool gets on her it will take her magic away and she won't be able to fly."

You must understand that as she was saying this Darby had fat tears running down her cheeks. She was really and truly very, very upset about it. It was so hard not to laugh. And also left me in a bit of a quandary on what to do. In the end I convinced her that she could just as easily pretend that dinosaur drool made unicorns fly faster as she could that it took away all their magic... but she's stubborn and it took some time.

My sweet girl, I hope she never loses her spunk or her energy.... but maybe we could lose a bit of the stubborn. :)

sutton edward

My little man. Oh how this boy makes us laugh and keeps us on our toes! Sutton has grown by leaps and bounds lately. He's starting to lose his chubby baby cheeks and tummy. He resembles my mom's family (the Massies) so very much that there are times I wonder if he looks at all like Kyle or me. His big blue eyes just sparkle all the time and he laughs so very easily. He's my cuddle-bug and loves to sit on my lap and give hugs to anyone he sees. Lately he's wanting to do everything Kyle does and will often lift his tiny little toy weights when Kyle is exercising, trying to replicate every movement Kyle makes. It is the funniest/cutest thing.

Sutton LOVES music. He remembers the lyrics to songs after only having heard them once or twice and can recognize a song on the radio having only heard 5 or 6 notes of the melody. He's great at remembering bands and musicians names and even loves commercial jingles and will sing along with them. He's also getting pretty good at quoting his favorite movies and tv shows. He hums and sings pretty much all the time.

If there is a dinosaur or car to play with then that is what Sutton will be doing. He loves dinosaurs especially. He names all of his toys. All. Of. Them. Sometimes the names make perfect sense. For instance, 3-Claws the T-Rex. He has 3 claws. Or OrangeRed the Pterandon. He's orange and red. Carso is a car. Sometimes they are just normal names. Max the T-Rex, Peter the Stegosaurus, Sam the dog. And then there are the completely random ones. Uncle Crab the Stegosaurus (this one makes me laugh the hardest, where did he get that?!), Shushy the Brachiosaurus, Monsty the racecar. They all have names and he expects us to remember them all... this can be difficult. :)

Lately Sutton's been hanging out with his imaginary friend, Jack. Oh the stories we hear about Jack! Jack is seven years old (older than Darby and therefore anything he says trumps anything Darby says, ha!), was born in high school (I have no idea?), has spiky hair and is tall. And, sometimes, Jack is dead. I'm not really sure what that's about. Just occasionally, Sutton will say something like, "Jack did that before he died." But other times Jack's alive. I don't know. Sutton's been asking about my mom and Kyle's dad a lot lately and I think he's just trying to figure out what death is. Also, if we tell Sutton that something is impossible, like swinging as high as the moon on the swings at the park, Sutton's immediate response is, "No it's not, Jack does it all the time." Or if I won't let him have a piece of candy Sutton will say, "Well, Jack's mom let him have lots of candy today." Sutton's also quite proud of the fact that Jack is imaginary. He refers to him as "Jack, my imaginary friend." Jack is quite the character and I'm curious to see how long he sticks around.

Sutton is loving gymnastics and we've seen so much improvement in his balance and motor skills since he started in August. He loves to run and is always asking if we can go outside to race from the mailboxes to the streetlight. He got a bike for his 4th birthday and is finally gaining the confidence to ride with some speed and keep up with Darby. He's showing lots of interest in reading and loves to try and guess what letters are in words based on how they sound. He's struggled a bit to learn to write letters and draw shapes but we've made lots of progress lately and he's actually asking to draw more and more. He loves counting things and recently figured out counting backwards, so we do that A LOT.

Sutton is a boy full of boundless energy and lots of words. The boy is always moving and always talking. Always. He even talks in his sleep. We've had to work a lot lately on not interrupting and not telling the same story over and over. Also, volume control. Sutton has one volume. VERY LOUD. When we ask him to talk more quietly, he mouths words at us. I know eventually he will find that middle ground- I hope he finds it tomorrow. :) He loves to make up stories about any and everything... and this has lead to learning the difference between telling a story and telling a lie. I'm struggling a bit with this one. I don't want to squelch that creativity that gives us such funny and hilarious stories- this is a VERY Dugan trait that Sutton comes by very honestly thru his daddy and his Grandpa Mark. But I don't want him to be a liar either. It's a difference his little four-year-old mind is having a hard time comprehending and my almost 30-year-old mind hasn't figured out how to communicate yet.

Sutton Button, how I love his enthusiasm and energy... and how I hope I can teach him when to rein it in. :)

Parenting has been the best and hardest adventure of my life. I never knew it could feel so rewarding while simultaneously feeling so defeating. It rejuvenates as it exhausts. It's a rollercoaster. And I am thoroughly enjoying every moment of the ride- even the scary ones.