too much

I'm having one of those days where there seems to be too much. Too much to do. Too much to clean. Too much to think about. Too much noise. Too much screaming (mostly from the children, though I've had my moments where I've come close). Too many Os in the word too. Ha.

These are the days where I crave the simplicity that we're working towards. Less to do. Less to clean. Fewer children (I won't be watching kids for extra money once we're out of this house). But then we come full circle, because it feels like there is just too much work in order to get there. And so I'm feeling impatient today and a little cranky. This bodes well for no one.

So, I'm taking a moment to just breathe and hopefully gain a little calm, a little focus.

Yesterday Kyle and I did some Christmas shopping. There wasn't a lot to buy. On both sides of our extended family we draw names for gifts for the grown-ups. So, just 4 gifts. And on my side of the family, where there are now seven little kids, we drew names for kids' gifts too. So only a few kid's gifts to buy. We have price limits in place as well. This should make Christmas shopping a breeze. And for the most part it does. It helps us to feel like we're avoiding getting caught up in the consumer-driven mindset of buying gifts just to buy them. We can get just a few things for a few people that they, hopefully, really want or need. So, yesterday should have been an easy and quick shopping trip.

Our problem arose when we were buying gifts for Darby and Sutton. Oh my. We decided a while back that we were not going to get them as much this year as we have in years past. 2 or 3 gifts each. At first we had a hard time just thinking of anything to get them. They have so much already. We walked around looking at everything and were just at a loss. If only it had lasted. We finally saw something that screamed "Darby" to us. And then it was like an avalanche of gift inspiration... expensive gift inspiration. And we remembered how easy it is to go overboard when getting fun things for your kids. Finally, we narrowed it down to an appropriate amount of appropriate gifts- one big gift, one small gift and a few stocking stuffers each. And one gift to share. And as we walked to the checkout line and waited our turn to pay we argued with ourselves. Did we get enough? Is what we chose fun enough? Cool enough? Are our kids going to feel gypped? Will they see and hear what friends received for Christmas and feel like they didn't get enough? Like we don't care about them as much?

Wait, what? WHAT?!?!?!?!

This is when, for me, this downsizing/simplifying business becomes so hard and so obviously necessary for us. Especially at this time of year, our culture places so much emphasis on stuff. There is so much definition placed on what one owns. At Christmas that emphasis is even placed on what one gives. And we LOVE to give our kids things that make their faces light up and that elicit squeals and giggles of joy. However.... since when is 2 or 3 gifts not enough? Especially given the fact that they will also be receiving gifts from family members and friends. I feel guilty saying only 2 or 3 gifts. How spoiled I've been! How much I've spoiled my kids!

So, simplicity at Christmas for us is about getting less stuff for Darby & Sutton- even when it may still be too much- and about adjusting how we think about why we give our kids stuff. Because if we get them more stuff just because we don't want them to feel like they got less than everyone else, then we are just perpetuating a vicious cycle of wanting more, more, more. Of wanting too much. And I'm pretty sure that's not what Christmas is supposed to be about.

There are things we can never have too much of. Love. Friendship. Encouragement. Family. And these are the things we want to give to Darby and Sutton in spades.

I'm feeling calmer now. More at peace. It's amazing what some fresh perspective will do for your attitude. :)