confession, clarification, inspiration

I'll just start this whole thing off by clearing the air- I did NOT succeed in my stated goal for last week. While I did get a lot of laundry done, I didn't get it all done and certainly didn't go to bed at night with all the clean laundry put away. And there were a few times all the dishes weren't done either.

Whew, I feel better!

What I am proud of is that I'm not beating myself up about this at all. Just a few weeks ago I would have been. Whether I'd told anyone what my goals were or not... not accomplishing them would have sent me into a self-deprecating tailspin. But that's not where I am right now. And that feels pretty darn good. I just dusted myself off and am doing better this week.

So many people have been so very encouraging to me in this journey. The love and friendship that has been expressed has been amazing. It occurs to me, though, that I may have been unclear when describing the exact nature of my current struggle with laziness. I know that the norm for most people, especially those with small kids at home all day, is not a perfectly spotless house. And I know that it's impossible for even the most organized of people to stay on top of everything all the time. I also know that at the end of the day what's most important is that I've spent the day focusing on what's most important in my life- Kyle, Darby and Sutton. However.... I also know that most normal people are at least trying to keep up with things. My problem has been that, until recently, I haven't even been trying. For months now I've just wallowed in feelings of failure and inadequacy and done nothing. Nothing. I had given up. And I'd allowed those feelings to keep me from being a good mom and wife... I wasn't focusing on my husband and kids in any way but to focus on how I was failing them.... which was causing me to just fail them even more. It wasn't pretty.

And that's where I was when this all started 2 posts ago. But everyday, every time I manage to fight my desire to do nothing and instead do something- no matter how small- that cloud of inadequacy lifts some. And it's awesome. :)

I apologize if I'm being repetitive. I just know that there were some who were worrying about me. Or that maybe I'd inadvertently hurt feelings by implying that only lazy people have messy houses. There's nothing to worry about here. And I sincerely apologize if anyone was hurt or offended. That was never my intent.

I still want to post about Christmas and will.... but I feel it deserves it's own post and I don't have the time right now (I'm squeezing this into lunchtime :). For now, let's suffice to say that we are still giving and receiving gifts. The number and prices of those gifts has changed some this year and that's a good thing.

As we've been looking to simplify and downsize it's become more and more apparent that it will be easier said than done. It's not a simple task to simplify, oddly enough. Occasionally I start to feel overwhelmed by it. When I do there's a couple of places that help me remember why I want to do this. I thought I'd share them.

Becoming Minimalist

I haven't read thru this whole site yet. I've found lots of inspiration from the articles on the benefits of minimalism and the 10 most important things to simplify in your life. Everything I've read here is good though.

Recipe for Simplicity

Just an article that I felt gets to the heart of simplicity, not just regarding possessions but with other aspects of life as well.

Both of these resources have been great inspirations to me, though I realize that the ideas and concepts outlined may not be realistic for everyone, even for us. But there is lots of food for thought there.

Thanks for hanging with me.... this was kinda rambling. :)